Lord of the Rings Fanatics Plaza

Over the decades, there have been many, many questions asked about the balrogs and their nature. Do they or do they not have wings? are there thousands of them or "no more than seven"? and many of those questions have been satisfactorily* answered.

However, there are still many burning (ba dum tsk) questions about these fellows that need to be answered. What is the collective noun for a group of balrogs? Is Arien related to them in any way? How many calories do they have to intake to survive?

Are these questions important? Well, that's up for debate, but we still need these answers so I'm proposing a little game. I'll ask a question and, using logic and a wee bit of lore, everyone can give an answer. The most sound (or ridiculous depending on the mood) answer will get to ask the next question and judge from there. Simple enough, yeah? I'll go first.

What is the correct collective noun for a group of balrogs?

But this is common knowledge! A group of balrogs is a moriad of balrogs.

Googling the etymology of 'moriad', it is apparently derived from Sindarin, but my lack of elvish prevents me from explaining further.

Apparently I was confusing with the Hebrew. After looking further into the matter I discover that a group of Balrogs are generally referred to in English as a packet of Frosties.

Since Balrogs are after all winged but flightless, like penguins, and like penguins rather clumsy (demonstrated by their unfortunate habit of falling over), it is only logical that they would collectively be called a ‘waddle of Balrogs’.

A packet of Balrogs (in disguise)!

(Apologies, apologies... just learning how to paste and resize images; this seemed a golden opportunity to try out my new skills.)

How about a lot of Whips.

Clearly it’s a wing of balrogs. When people are confused about balrogs having wings really they’re just misreading a poor translation of the plural form.

You are all wrong! Clearly, the correct answer here was Conflagration

But I think @Romeran was the closest to that so I'm gonna hand the next round over to him. And an honorable mention to @Chrysophylax Dives for the Moriad comment because that sent me down a rabbit hole of potential explanations. I found that Moriad is actually the account written by Sauron of his coming to Mordor whilst "imprisoned" in Númenor in the tradition of the Iliad, the Aeneid, the Dagoniad, etc., etc., unfortunately most of the copies were destroyed in the Downfall. An original illuminated manuscript is considered incredibly valuable but does have the side effect of causing debilitating madness to anyone in proximity to the book, and woe to anyone who actually reads any of the words in that eldritch book of stygian nightmares.

When in doubt make a joke about a popular Tolkien argument

We know that hobbits are fond of six meals a day and even partake in the infamous second breakfast

The Hobbit, Roast Mutton wrote:In fact he was just sitting down to a nice little second breakfast in the dining-room by the open window, when in walked Gandalf

What would a hobbit eat during second breakfast that they would not eat during first breakfast? That is to say, are there special things one eats only during second breakfast?

I actually think the real answer to the first question was a flame of Balrogs. But i suppose conflagration is a longer way of saying the same thing.

Anyway, another easy question, which is answered explicitly in Appendix J. Yes, for second breakfast one has more bacon and eggs. To spell it out, the bacon and eggs for second breakfast are special because they are the bacon and eggs that were not eaten for the first breakfast.

EDIT: i thought all questions had to be on balrogs?

Chrysophylax Dives wrote: ↑Tue Mar 22, 2022 5:50 pm i thought all questions has to be on balrogs?

I guess reading comprehension is not my strong suit

Clearly I meant what do balrogs eat for second breakfast

Hobbits?

Chrysophylax Dives wrote: ↑Tue Mar 22, 2022 5:59 pm Hobbits?

I should have been clearer on that I suppose, whoops! that's what you get for letting me do things! Though perhaps Rome has a decent idea, instead of random questions about balrogs, it should just be random questions about anything

Catullus 16! Not that i have the classical education, mind - had to google translate. As a morning waking up experience that was even better than my recent googling of 'Colp meaning' (which, of course, I now know refers to the plaza's gateway of creation).

Anyway, Frost and Rome have collectively conspired to create a completely new Balrog feud, and it is my duty to declare that they are absolutely wrong.

If we allow this name changing of the thread then, just as we are into a deep question about, say, dwarvish beards, 'The' Balrog will likely change the name of the thread again to, say, [Game] Tinkerbell Random Questions. This is the road to chaos!

I call on all right-thinking members to reject the name change of the thread and - whatever random names are introduced - to follow the true tradition of the thread and ask and answer questions only about Balrogs.

I will wipe the slate clean with a new question:

How many Balrogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Deus ex machina changes it for them.

@Nemroth, absolutely correct! (I take it that this is a subtle reference to behind the scenes Admin activities.)

I hand the floor to you, trusting that you will ask a Balrog question!

@Chrysophylax Dives I’m not that subtle!

Who would win in a fight: Balrog vs Dragon?

Chrysophylax Dives wrote: ↑Wed Mar 23, 2022 4:37 am Catullus 16!

I'm nothing if not transgressive and acerbic!

Nemroth wrote: ↑Wed Mar 23, 2022 10:56 am Who would win in a fight: Balrog vs Dragon?

A flightless bird (from your imagination) vs a cat? I'm going with the cat

Nemroth wrote: ↑Wed Mar 23, 2022 10:56 am Who would win in a fight: Balrog vs Dragon?

It depends which dragon. There is not a great deal of variety between one Balrog and another, they are all pretty scary. Dragons, by contrast, come in different sizes. So I'd put my money on Ancalagon the Black, would call it even with Smaug, while I suspect strongly that the dragon in Farmer Giles of Ham would fly from an angry Balrog as far and fast as possible.

Chrysophylax Dives wrote: ↑Wed Mar 23, 2022 6:04 pm It depends which dragon.

Yes I left that deliberately ambiguous. I fear both Ancalagon and Glaurung would prevail. Smaug maybe. Others would have a harder time.

Frost wrote: ↑Wed Mar 23, 2022 4:39 pm A flightless bird (from your imagination) vs a cat? I'm going with the cat

I was surprised how few were (openly) triggered by that! I yield the floor to you @Frost…

@Nemroth, I'm never going to be able to see a balrog different now

What is the internal temperature of a balrog in comparison to their surroundings?

hot

hoi @Frost, aka The Balrog. i have been playing this game nicely, trying at every turn. nobody else has posted an answer. you not even going to give me my chance to ask a balrog question even now?

I was hoping we'd get some other responses to give you a run for your money, alas the floor is yours, hot man.

Appreciated, thank you. And may I say that of all games on Lore this one, imo, has the greatest potential (including mythical feuds about the very name and nature of the thread - we could run and run).

Its been a hard day and you are in the kitchen making a cuppa when the doorbell rings. Stepping out into the hall and opening the door you discover - a balrog. Not quite sure of the etiquette, you invite the balrog into the best dining room and go to make a second cup of tea. Before you have poured the milk the doorbell rings again - stepping into the hall, you open the door - a balrog, whom you steer to the same dining room. Measuring in the sugar, the doorbell rings once more; a balrog. Once again, you show the balrog to the same dining room and return to the kitchen, where you now finish the tea, place four cups on a tray and proceed to the dining room. On opening the door you discover an open window, no balrogs, and the silver plate dinner set inherited from your great-aunt Jemima missing.

Next day you tell your story to the police. Do they conclude that you have been burgled by:

(a) a conflagration* of three balrogs; or

(b) the one balrog, who stepped out of the window three times?

* Note on terminology: conflagration: collective noun for a group of balrogs (archaic; these days the vulgar might say a packet).

If we assume that the police hear the story as told then we know that the balrogs were led to the same dining room thrice. The second and third time that the balrog was taken to the dining room then if the dining room had been empty, instead of contain one and two balrogs respectively, then surely that would have been noted. As a balrog isn’t something that might escape notice easily. Therefore the police must have concluded that I had been burgled by “(a) a conflagration of three balrogs”.

sigh. by a series of lucky accidents you arrive at the correct answer.

On showing the balrog to the dining room you would not have passed through the doorway yourself (who would enter a room with a balrog inside?) and as the door opens outward (i would have told you if you had asked, but it seemed too much detail) you did not see inside the room.

as a matter of fact, there is only one balrog and therefore you were burgled by the balrog (logic).

however, the police are cunning but thick as three trolls and jump to the wrong conclusion; and so, once again, the balrog walks.

Floor to you @Romeran!

@Chrysophylax Dives

A Balrog, a dragon, and a spawn of Ungoliant walk into a bar. Which one of them walks out and why?

Interesting question, which caused me to research whether spiders could get drunk. The theory was tested by spritzing a web and caught fly with vodka and then watching what happened when the spider consumed it. Apparently, the spider did indeed weave a very poor-quality web afterwards, lending credence to the theory that spiders can get drunk.

What about dragons?? Well, reptiles can get drunk, but you’d think that alcohol would just be vaporised by the flame. However, not all dragons are firebreathing, so it would depend if it were a cold-drake or a fire-drake. Let’s assume it’s a cold-drake and capable of getting drunk.

The Balrog clearly would suffer from the same heat-vaporisation issues so it’s not clear why the Balrog is there at all. Perhaps it’s just there to socialise, or it’s the designated driver (flyer?)

In any case I posit that the Spawn of ungoliant and the Dragon both get too wasted to leave and have to be dragged out, so the sober Balrog is the one who walks out under its own steam